Your voice filled my mind today.
Your voice from so very long ago.
Your voice that once spoke to my heart.
Your voice that used to say how much you loved me.
If we met now, would we recognise each other?
Or would we keep walking past and away without a sorry glimpse into our history?
Your hair must be grey now.
There must be wrinkles running deep into your handsome face.
There must be remnants of that love you once had for me buried somewhere in your heart.
That love, before it turned into hate.
That love, before it became someone else’s.
I can’t say I still love you.
I know, I promised.
But you broke your promise, too.
I want to put out the light.
I want to close my eyes and forget you.
I want to be sure my heart doesn’t love you anymore.
Noisy raindrops splash down on the heavy green waxed umbrella.
My father carries me in his arms,
High above the drenched path.
He holds me tight,
He keeps me safe.
From my vantage point I see a colourful world:
Umbrellas in a multitude of rainbows hurry past me,
My head turning eagerly towards the nearest one.
Amidst this adventure, my father calls out to me,
He’s waiting to pop a few more Smarties into my mouth.
His eyes smile back at my grin.
How I wish I could travel back in time to that afternoon.
So much has changed between then and now.
He can no longer carry me;
But I mustn’t forget,
He still holds me tight,
And he still keeps me safe.
There was that day, that night, not so long ago,
When you held my hand just a little longer than usual,
And looked into my eyes.
I wonder what went through your mind that night.
You didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye.
Did you know I would never see your face again?
Did you know I would cry out for you to return?
Did you know I would never understand what made you leave?
You looked so happy.
Ten years have passed.
That night doesn’t seem so long ago.
I can almost hear you laughing,
Your voice so clear.
You looked so very happy.
You didn’t even say goodbye.
This silence is driving me crazy. I don’t want to hear myself think.
How can you talk of hope when your heart holds nothing but despair?
It is because I am sunk, I am defeated, I am nothing more than the dust covering this earth, that I can think only of hope now. I have nowhere to go. No one to meet. No one to hold my hand while I weep. I have to go up. There really is nowhere else to go.