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110. Awakening

I am living on borrowed time,
I should be dead, I fear;
I am living when I shouldn’t
What am I doing here?
I’ve got a chance to do it right,
To do what matters
To do what’s right,
To step put of the darkness
Into the light,
I’ve got the chance
I’ve got it, all right.
Why was I chosen?
Why was I picked?
To be one of the few
Who had to be sick?
And why was I allowed
To keep walking by,
With my head held high
And my sights on the sky?
Will it all end soon?
Will darkness fall
And snuff out the light,
Throwing me ‘to the night?
How will I know
When the end will come?
How will I know
When Death beats his drum?
I’m always unsure
For I’m not to know
When I’ll shut these eyes,
When I’ll go.
But I see that I’m here,
Standing my ground,
I see it’s my time now
To make my own sound.
My voice needs to speak,
My voice needs to rise,
My voice is my treasure,
My solace, my prize.
My spirit won’t shatter,
My soul will not break,
My mind will not bend
There’s a lot I can take;
There’s still much left in me,
Where do I start?
I am who I am,
I have life in my heart.

©Brindology 2014 & Cassandra Luey
©Original photograph by Cassandra Luey

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106. The future is here

When does the future occur, 
Tell me when?

When does this present moment
Come to its end? 

When does time
Stop and stand? 

When will we walk
Hand in hand?

©Brindology 2014

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88. Mountain – a poem for my soul

Are you still thinking 
Of this story about you and me?
Do you still care
About the sky and sea?

Are you trying to find your way back 
On this cold dark night? 
Then look upon the mountain
Standing tall in all its might.

We may never find the way back home,
That passage is closed,
And yet we try, 
For it’s this path we chose. 

Fear not the sorrow, 
The anger, or the fright, 
Just look upon the mountain
Standing tall in all its might.

©Brindology 2014

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80. Together

I would give up all the blue skies
For that one moment with you,
I would give up all the daffodils
For that one kiss from you,
I would give up all my words
For that one song with you,
I would give up all my days
For that one breath with you.

You could be my sunlight
When my sun is gone,
You could be my tomorrow
When today is done;
You could be my happiness
When I’m feeling down,
You could be my miracle
Keeping my feet on the ground.

What would you give up
If I spent a moment with you?
What would you dream of
If I gently kissed you?
What would you say
If I sang my song for you?
What would you want
If I shared my breath with you?

Would I be your sunlight
If your sun were gone,
Would I be your tomorrow
When today is done;
Would I be your happiness
When you’re feeling down,
Could I be your miracle
And keep you safe and sound?

You gave up all the blue skies
For that one moment with me,
You gave up all the daffodils
For that one kiss from me,
You gave up all your words
For that one song with me,
You gave up all your days
For that one breath with me.

You gave it all up, didn’t you,
Just for me?

©Brindology 2014

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Daily prompt: Gone

55. Unfinished 

I am the end to your words,
For I wasn’t there at the beginning.

The seasons change,
The butterfly dies,
The days move on,
Like babies, we cry.

We are the end to each other’s words,
It matters not that we looked away…

©Brindology 2014

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54. My gift to you 

You have these wings
So why don’t you fly?
Have you a fear
Of being up high?

You have this voice
But I don’t hear you sing;
Why hesitate?
Of what do you think?

You have this wisdom,
Please speak your words,
Don’t be afraid,
You won’t sound absurd.

Now this moment will pass,
It won’t live again,
Our presence will soon
Be drowned by the rain.

It’s only a heartbeat
That each one of us has,
So make every day count
Till you breathe your last.

You have these wings
Spread them wide and fly,
Be not afraid
Of being up high.

©Brindology 2014

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48. Close your eyes

Tutup matamu sekejap sahajalah,
Bolehkah kamu ingati senyumanku?

Senyumanku
Yang lama kamu tidak lihat.
Suaraku,
Yang lama kamu tidak dengar.
Hatiku,
Yang lama yang kamu tidak sayang.

Tutup matamu sekejap sahajalah,
Bolehkah kamu ingati diriku?

Close your eyes for just a moment,
Do you remember my smile?

My smile,
Which you’ve not seen for a long time.
My voice,
Which you’ve not heard for a long time.
My heart,
Which you’ve not loved for a long time.

Close your eyes for just a moment,
Do you remember me?

©Brindology with Rosiah Mokhtar & Rashida Sehan 2016

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20. Woman

I am an empty woman,
My tears have fallen to the ground,
I am an empty woman,
My cries have made their sound;
I am an empty woman,
My sorrow lies drowned,
I am an empty woman,
Come, let my spirit be unbound.

I am a renewed woman,
My heart now holds no pain,
I am a renewed woman,
My voice will not be strained;
I am a renewed woman,
Let my spirit be made plain,
I am a renewed woman,
And my spirit can never be stained.

©Brindology 2014

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19. Wisps of smoke

At first glance, you appear perfect.
Raindrops of innocence mark your presence.

I take a second look at you and I have to shut my eyes
for more than a second;
I cannot bear to see all that is in front of me.

“Silence,” you whisper,
shattering the silence between us.

My eyes grow accustomed to the darkness within,
I keep them shut.
Nothing can compel me to look upon your countenance once more.

“Forevermore,” you say,
dragging my heart into the dust.

At first glance,
you had appeared perfect.
How did it all change?

I hear footsteps behind me.
And the breath of someone tired.
The moist air engulfs my nostrils,
reminding me that I hurt only myself.
I refuse to look at you
but I know you’re still there.

I hear the words fall off these pages,
I see the clouds move in the sky,
I know we’re not meant to be,
But I don’t need to know why.
The whispers surround me quickly,
The dense scents drift by,
The memories don’t stay by me,
My throat swallows my cry.

The unspoken passages of time wind themselves slowly around my sighs,
The remnants of so long ago tell me to not even try.

I hear the mask fall off your face
and shatter while we die,
I know we’re not meant to be
and I don’t need to now why.
Is this the end as I know it?
When did the beginning even start?
I refuse to look at you,
and my eyes must remain shut.

©Brindology 2014

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14. Discrimination

Cancer does not discriminate.
It does not care about your bank balance or the car you drive.
It doesn’t care what kind of house you live in.
It doesn’t care
if you’re rich,
poor,
educated,
uneducated,
single,
married,
divorced,
gay,
straight,
bisexual,
transsexual,
a parent,
an aunt,
an uncle,
a grandparent,
a child,
an adult,
a brother,
a sister,
deaf,
blind,
mute,
disabled,
special,
talented,
gifted,
silly,
an absolute goofball,
voluptuous,
a size 0,
skinny,
a size 20,
muscular,
healthy,
a slob,
downright mean,
courteous,
kind,
generous,
nasty,
bitchy,
lazy,
hardworking,
insular,
religious,
agnostic,
atheist,
open-minded,
an only child,
a twin,
a triplet,
the youngest child,
the eldest child,
an in-between child,
an infant,
the star in your parent’s world,
the light in your significant other’s life,
a musician,
an athlete,
a writer,
a teacher,
a politician,
a humble soul,
a terror in the lives of others,
despised by all,
loved by everyone,
idolized,
trivialized,
gentle,
a pervert,
a snob,
a poet,
a tortured soul,
boisterous,
quiet,
a reader,
a soap opera lover,
a bigamist,
a misogynist,
a freeloader,
a dreamer,
an optimist,
a pessimist,
a person who throws up easily on flights… it really doesn’t care.

So, what do you do?
Worry? Pray? Live dangerously?
It’s really up to you.
You do have that choice.
All I say is that if you don’t have cancer to deal with personally, be thankful.

Life is too short and everything in it is temporary,
transient,
ephemeral.
The life you lead today could be gone in an instant.
We are but mere raindrops in the storm that is life.

Live life — don’t shy away from it.
Kiss the ones you love.
Let them know they matter.
Hold their hands.
Send them flowers.
Listen to them.
Let them talk.
Feed them with love.
Cherish them.
Give them a cuddle.
Embrace them with your heart.
Tell them to walk into your hug and just hold them there in perfect silence.
Let them breathe and share your air.
Love, just love.

Life is really too short.
Love.
Learn to love.

©Brindology 2014

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