41. An afternoon by myself 

And so I sit here without a care in the world, unable to comprehend this madness into which I’ve been swept.
There is no mention of my presence by you.
This is not by any fault of yours, of course, for you cannot see me through this noise.
Why do I presume this day will end soon?

Why do I think I am here only for this instant and need not imagine another day?
Wait just a moment, won’t you?
Listen to what I have to say.
Everyone is talking,
Everyone is talking,
All at the same time and you cannot hear me clearly.
Yet, I see your face twitch, just for that brief moment as my lips part.
Have I shocked you?
No, you can’t hear me at all.
You cannot even see me.
I am but a mere stranger to you,
A face in this wilderness of life,
Unfamiliar and strange;
My voice has not warmed your ears.

Remember that I am who I am,
And you are only you.

The days will pass,
The rivers will flow,
The waves will come and go.
You are who you already are.

The noise is getting louder,
It is starting to get to me.
My mind wants to shut its eyes and go to sleep.
Perhaps I do care, after all.
I watch your every step,
Listening to my heart beat,
Its pounding reverberating in my ears.
A constant accompaniment to the sight of you walking.

If I close my eyes, you disappear.
You vanish into the darkness and I cannot see your shadow.

We are separate, you and I.
Two entities,
Two bodies,
Two halves at a distance.
Yet, our shadows merge, falling into the landscape that spills onto this earth.
A remembrance of a day,
A sliver of memory that tastes so sweet,
I almost feel your breath against my cheek.
My heart beats,
Your heart beats,
Our heartbeat.

I see you escape into the shadows,
Allowing the pitchy blackness of the night to engulf you in all his serene coldness.
He grips you tightly,
Never allowing a whisper to run free.
Are you in discomfort?
Are you close to tears?
Shall I see you again?
Soon?
Shall I be able to hold you in my arms and smile?
Will our tears mingle with the raindrops?
And our fingers melt into each other’s hands?

The waves come near me,
Whispering their welcome
And sighing their goodbye.
The lights hurt my eyes,
And I have to shut them for just a little longer.

©Brindology 2014

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3 thoughts on “41. An afternoon by myself 

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